Unpacking Holiday Pressures
It’s the holiday season, famously known as the time of joy and happy memories. What no one speaks about though, is the pressure attached to this untouchable time of year and to uphold the ongoing merry-making. These molded attitudes and perfect visions create unrelenting standards - all with very real consequences on safety and wellbeing.
The Isolating Holiday Ideal
All of us are trying to achieve that golden standard of effortless cheer and connection, and it’s a shadow we live in. It’s a shadow that reaches far and wide, inescapable in our feeds, movie recommendations and in conversations with the Jones’ next door, who we feel the need to keep up with.
Not only is it overwhelming, it’s incredibly isolating. For a time where we speak of togetherness, it’s a season defined by a palpable sense of loneliness and of outrunning past haunts. Whether we’re comparing to other people’s lives, or reminded of our own expectations, trajectories and milestones: the majority of us can relate to a sadness, a hopelessness or a feeling of discontent that leaves us feeling distinctly alone or othered in the festive season.
A Stressful Time of Year
A time with a promise for picture perfect memories, the year end also marks a time of peak stress and tension. When this pressure heats up, women and children are hit hardest by the inequities and increased risk that emerges. The demands come in thick and fast; the end of year work rush (paid and unpaid) begins.
Those with the lion’s share of family responsibility, women, juggle competing priorities and rise to meet increasing demands to provide, prepare and meet expectations of perfect food, fun and family. With emotions high and behaviour unpredictable, it’s behind closed doors and when the party’s over when women and children are the most vulnerable to abuse.
Family Violence in the Festive Season
Perhaps the biggest elephant in the room, family violence during the holidays is at its most insidious and most escalated. When it’s out of the frying pan and into the fire, women and young people fearing for their safety face unforgiving ultimatums. Stay and keep the fierce home fires burning during the holidays, or leave for the unknown and into possible retribution, unpredictability and instability.
Complicating the decision is the holiday guilt. Too often, comprising safety and staying for the kids or younger siblings in the interest of maintaining the ‘happy family’ and the one-size-fits-all family holiday standard. For those leaving, the road ahead can look just as hard, working out make-shift, then permanent housing, navigating parenting arrangements and conflict, and trying to work out next steps.
Truth be told, the festive season can be a hard time of year for everyone - and in different ways for each of us. Adding to this difficulty is the weight and isolation that comes with this perfect idea of what this time looks like.
The Human Heart of the Holidays
Despite this, there’s no denying the strength, joy and hope that can be found in the unique traditions and togetherness at the heart of the festivities. Encouraging generosity of spirit and connecting us to our roots, community and our inner child, the holidays have us won over for a reason.
At Imagine Re-Evolution, in our interactions with young people and community we get a window into the diverse stories and experiences of the holiday season. We also see how this diversity is not reflected back at us from the environment and cultivated images that surround us, and how this can impact health and happiness.
A New Spin
This holiday season, we’re sending out the message that the holidays, like a dreidel or spinning top from Santa, is something with many faces and a spin that changes with each of us - across emotions, expectations and lived experience. The day or days may not be golden, but they are full of life. Embracing this as a strength that shines brighter than gold, we’re leaning into the uniqueness of the holidays and the unity that comes in sharing common values - and being with and there for one another.
It’s Okay Not to be Okay this Holidays
If this blog has brought up something for you, or you are concerned for your own or someone else’s wellbeing, there's always someone at the other end of the phone (or web chat) if you need to talk.
24/7 free and confidential support is available:
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1800 55 1800
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1800 Respect
(1800 737 732)
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